Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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