She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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