butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
