We're facebook friends in real life
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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