oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The air was thick with penises
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
