So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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