We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
