Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
