Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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