i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize