How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
