I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
