I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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