Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
