Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
