just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize