He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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