Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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