i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
