Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
