Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
