In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
