I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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