Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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