I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize