Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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