Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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