she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
