i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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