I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
