The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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