The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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