his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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