3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
