He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
