So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
