We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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