Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
