in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
