He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
