there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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