We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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