what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
