He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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