remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
