This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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