I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
