I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
