He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
