Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
