rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
