Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you made out with another girl for some wings
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize