My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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