My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
