its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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