You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize