She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
