Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I want a musical about memes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
