She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
