It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
