Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
