New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
